"I was built from fragile things—but that doesn’t make me weak. If anything, it makes me stronger. This constant breaking, but also this eventual pull of all the pieces back together. Despite it all. That is strength."
"I got attached the moment you bumped into me and I feel in love with the way you mad me feel alive."
"Today my anxiety feels like an
over-filled balloon in my stomach,
like everything’s about to burst.
Today it feels like all my insides
have wings and want to get away.
My heart is the only wingless thing,
and that’s only because it’s running
in hiccup beats against my chest.
Today everything is a roller coaster,
except it’s all fall and no loops and
no stopping. Today my belly has
that sinking feeling of seeing your
crush kissing another mouth, except
the feeling never ends."
I sit in my room till 3 a.m.
and browse through stacks of books,
looking for some answers.
It’s been two days since I slept.
I’m starting to get dizzy even
when I’m sitting down.
I read poetry, non-fiction,
autobiographies, and short stories.
I scan an advice column six times over.
I flip through newspapers and grocery lists,
but nothing says what I want it to.
I stand up.
My head topples to the ground.
I wake up on my bedroom floor,
with my hands gripping a stack of books.
I do this,
until I decide to put off
searching for just a second.
I pick up a notebook.
I get myself a pen.
I stare at it blankly
for one minute
Something tells me
if I want my questions
answered by what I’ve read,
I’m going to have to
write it myself.
"If I love you
it means I’ll be there
even if you’re bleeding apologies
on the sidewalk
even if the mess of you
gets my shoes dirty
even if I’ll end up
scrubbing you out
"How do you describe yourself without starting with your illness?"
"Come with me there;
Be there with me."