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if my jokes offend you:

  1. i’m sorry
  2. it won’t happen again
  3. 1 & 2 are lies 
  4. you’re a pussy

darrynek:

itshinyu:

darrynek:

why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers 

And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so.

get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto

"I’d rather be in your bed."

- 6 word story (via guy)

A strong independent dog who don’t need no man

A strong independent dog who don’t need no man

leviathanrose:

like 98% of my problems would be solved if i stopped overthinking things and calmed the fuck down and stopped being such a panicky, anxious little shit

"Don’t waste sunsets with people who will be gone by sunrise."

- (via lucyquin)
kushandwizdom:

The Good Vibe

kushandwizdom:

The Good Vibe

aureat:

if a girl ignores you she’s either hella pissed or hella sad and whatever it is you better apologize if you don’t wanna be ignored for the next 28 years